Beyond The Blueprint
What was your process for writing your book?
_w140_h140/Writing%20Process%20-%20The%20Empty%20Nest%20Blueprint%20(2)_10311214.png "What was your process for writing your book?")
Oct 30, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
This week’s Hump Day Q&A question wasn’t on Empty Nesting but writing. Initially, I planned on ‘Behind The Blueprint,’ my blog, to be about writing, my journey, and all things Empty Nesting. So, why not answer a writing question? This week's question is, “What was your process for writing your book?”
What’s your favorite Empty Nest fact?
Oct 22, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
This is a funny question. I liken it to: What is your favorite word in the dictionary? There are so many facts and statistics in the book that I like. Chapter Three, titled The Average Empty Nester, is filled with statistics and facts about the demographics, finances, and attitudes of people in this unique stage in life.
How do you know when your children are grown and independent? I find it hard to let go of my total grip as parent and guardian. What traits were you looking for in your children as they became grown adults you could trust to be independent?
_w140_h140/Untitled%20design(1)_10220925.png "How do you know when your children are grown and independent? I find it hard to let go of my total grip as parent and guardian. What traits were you looking for in your children as they became grown adults you could trust to be independent?")
Oct 15, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
Great question. Independence can mean a lot of things to people. As a parent, I wasn’t as structured as I’m going to outline below, but I did look for independence in three areas: Financial, Personal, and Emotional. Here is my take on each. Financial independence equates to my child being able to support themselves financially.
What advice would you give to fathers who want to foster long-term relationships with their children in this next stage of life?
Oct 08, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
Fatherhood – now that’s a topic. I'm unsure if this is a coincidence, but I lost my father six days ago. So this is a subject I have been thinking about almost nonstop since the moment my mom informed me he had passed. I have thought a lot about my past and connection with my dad, as well as my actions as a father and my connection with my children.
How could you deal with children who leave but are still on the family “payroll”? At what point do you end the funding?
Oct 01, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
I’m at risk of submitting a non-answer for this question because this varies so much by individual and family. I know parents who continue to support and supplement their adult children's lifestyle while others financially cut off their children at age eighteen.
Keeping your children on the financial payroll is a choice, but the choice isn’t necessarily easy.
What other books Influenced you to write your book?
_w140_h140/Untitled%20design(5)_09250228.png "What other books Influenced you to write your book?")
Sep 24, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
This is a funny question. Let’s start with the topic, “Empty Nesting.’ I thought of writing a book on this subject first, and then I searched titles and summaries of books across the web to see if there was already a book in the market. To my amazement, there didn’t seem to be a definitive guide for a parent or parents going through the Empty Nest phase of life.
On the Shoulders of Others
Sep 21, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
There is a famous quote, “If I have seen a little further, it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.” To me, this means nothing truly original gets done without the inspiration and actions of those before us.
When I think about the physical act of writing my book, it was essentially a solo journey.
How did you change your parenting methods after your children had left?
_w140_h140/Untitled%20design(4)_09160829.png "How did you change your parenting methods after your children had left?")
Sep 17, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
What a great question. I talk a lot about this in the book, specifically in Chapter Eight, titled Parent-Child to Parent-Adult. The best way for me to sum it up here is that every parent has to establish and pivot from a Parent-Child to a Parent-Adult relationship at some point during their child's growth cycle.
How does one manage retirement activities if their spouse is not as physically able?
Sep 10, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
How does one manage retirement activities if their spouse is not as physically able? All the things you imagined you'd do together has now drastically changed. Do I go it alone, find other friends and leave out the spouse? None of that sounds fair.
Thank you for asking this question. It's a difficult situation to manage, but I do have some thoughts on the matter that may be helpful. Although facing the reality that your spouse may not be physically able to participate in activities with you is disappointing, it's important to accept the current state and come to terms with the unfairness of it. Your goal should be to make the best of your future together.
What surprised you most about your life when you began empty nesting? Is there a feeling you weren’t expecting during the process of transitioning?
Aug 27, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
I’m going to answer the first question in two parts. Upon my realization that my Empty Nest life was a few years in front of me, my biggest surprise was I was scared, unprepared, and vulnerable. When my actual Empty Nest life started, with the departure of my youngest to college, I was very prepared (you might even say I had a Blueprint).
How did you go about adjusting your day / daily schedule, as you no longer had children to look after or take care of?
Aug 20, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
Let’s start with a statistic. According to OneWorldInData.org’s 2012 global survey, the average college-educated mother in the US spent 150 minutes with their child a day (20% lower if not college-educated). The average father spent 83 minutes (20% lower if not college-educated).
How do you deal with an empty home where there once was so much vibrancy?
Aug 13, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
This question underscores a situation all empty nesters will face, however, the answer is not a simple one. Some Empty Nesters find themselves enjoying the quiet, loving the peace, and embracing the new sense of calm in their house. For this group of Empty Nesters the positives of listening to ‘their music’ for a change, watching shows they want, and no longer having to stay up at night waiting for a car to safely pull into the driveway, are welcome changes.
The Other "The Empty Nest Blueprint" Cover
Aug 11, 2023 by Anthony Damaschino
It’s one thing to write 80,000 words, but it’s a completely different experience to see the contents of your book realized through a cover. Choosing a cover design was both a hard and a ‘this is real’ moment for me.
