Holiday Harmony: The Art of Pacing Yourself When the Kids Come Home from College
Dec 10, 2024 by Anthony Damaschino
The kids are coming home for the holidays! As a parent, it's natural to want to make the most of this time together, especially after months of empty nest silence. But in our enthusiasm, or should I say my enthusiasm, it's easy to overdo it – overscheduling, overbuying, and overplanning. My experience is in doing this, I only found myself (and my kids) feeling frazzled and frustrated.Here's the thing: your college kid doesn't need (or want) a jam-packed, Instagram-worthy holiday extravaganza. What they often crave is the comfort of home, familiar routines, and quality time with loved ones – minus the fanfare.
The Misaligned Expectations Trap
We envision heartwarming family movie nights, elaborate home-cooked meals, and fun outings, only to discover our kids would rather binge-watch their favorite shows, order pizza, and catch up with old friends. The disconnect between our expectations and their desires can lead to tension, disappointment, and a holiday season that feels more stressful than joyful.
Finding Harmony: 5 Tips for Pacing Yourself
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Plan, but Leave Space: Create a loose outline of activities and traditions, but intentionally leave gaps in the schedule. This allows for spontaneity and relaxation.
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Respect Their Freedom: Recognize that your child is now accustomed to independence. Give them the autonomy to make their own plans, choose their own activities, and enjoy downtime.
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Tame the Urge to Overbuy: Resist the temptation to splurge on extravagant gifts or experiences. Focus on thoughtful, personalized gestures that show you care.
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Revisit, Don't Reinvent: Instead of trying to create new, elaborate traditions, revisit old favorites that brought comfort and joy to your child. Think family game nights, homemade cookies, or cozy movie nights.
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Breathe, Observe, and Adjust: Pay attention to your child's cues. If they seem overwhelmed or unenthusiastic, it's okay to pivot and simplify plans.
The Gift of Simplicity
By embracing a more relaxed, flexible approach, you'll not only avoid unnecessary stress but also:
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Strengthen your bond with your child through meaningful, low-key interactions
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Create space for your child to recharge and refocus before returning to college
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Rediscover the simple joys of the holiday season, untainted by unrealistic expectations
As you welcome your kids back home, remember: the greatest gift you can offer is the comfort of a peaceful, loving environment – not a meticulously curated, action-packed agenda.
